Getting Over Someone

Basic question here: how can I tell when I’m over someone and ready to be with someone else?

- C.G., Boston, MA

That is a basic question, but not a simple one. I’m not sure I can even answer it.

Sometimes hearing someone else’s experiences put things in perspective. Here is a situation concerning a person I dated, how I personally view it, and how I make it work for me. Maybe this example will help clear things up a little bit for you too.

In my life, I’ve seen a lot of relationships and been envious of very few. I see a lot of phoniness, relationships of convenience, and people together for all the wrong reasons.

But I knew that my relationship with her was something incredibly, incredibly special. I’d never felt anything like that; it was something totally different than all the rest I’d ever been in. It was comparing apples to oranges, as the saying goes.

In every way, I found her to be the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen. We showed each other our best and our worst and remained together because we believed in each other as individuals and believed in us as a couple.

It’s interesting to think of all the things we are taught and all we are not. People are taught a million things growing up: how to read, how to use a stove without burning their hands, how to fold a towel, how to drive, and so on.

But we’re never taught some of the things that are imperative in relationships; we’re somehow expected to learn them as we go and by trial and error. I, like many others, never learned how to trust someone to give them all of my feelings, so I’d always held something back, which isn’t fair.

I also never learned how to forgive someone that I loved when they hurt me. And I certainly never learned what to do when you find someone who is perfect for you. It sounds like such a great thing, but it can be one of the most overwhelming feelings you ever experience because you want it to work out more than you want anything else in your life.

And sometimes, by the time you start to realize these things, it’s too late to make everything right.

Making her cry was the worst thing I’ve ever done and just thinking about it hurts me more than anything I’ve ever lost, never achieved, failed at, or I could really explain here.

And now she’s gone. We had talked about “forever” but this isn’t the kind of “forever” I thought we meant.

Who we were at the time we made our memories, we’ll always be – that man will always love that woman and that woman will always love him just as much. I still miss so many things about her, namely counting on – and believing in – us.

I still think about her every day and wonder, wonder, and wonder. I made her an enormous part of my life and now that she’s gone, that life as I knew it is too.

The pain is normal. But don’t think that because you feel pain you can’t move on. What happened between the two of you obviously affected you, so the hurting is expected. Truthfully, and unfortunately, it may be felt for a long, long time.

If you think about it, you probably still don’t feel great about the moment you found out you didn’t get that job you really wanted or a pet that died when you were a kid. You may never feel perfectly fine about this situation either.

What I realized, and what you must too, is that you have to move on. They have. They have their own life going, and whether it’s them being alone or them being with someone else – it’s still them being without you.

There is no other option; you can’t stay closed off and emotionally unavailable forever in hopes they will change their mind about you or that it will work out somehow. Knowing when to let go and move forward it is the hard part.

You don’t want to do it when you’re emotionally unavailable, angry at life, or will be anything but the best person you can be to whomever it is you end up with next. I don’t know if you’re there. Maybe you don’t even know if you’re there.

How To Find Cheap Air Tickets While Travelling In India

The natural beauty, the myriad colours, the exotic food and the wonderful hospitality of the people are just some of the things that make India an incredible experience for tourists from all over the world. India has so much to offer that it can truly be called a complete package for travel, and this has made it one of the most popular tourist destinations on the planet. There is no shortage of places to visit and things to do in India. You can get a glimpse into the rich history and heritage of the land by visiting ancient monuments and buildings like the Taj Mahal and the Red Fort. If you wish to be close to nature, the awesome beauty of the Himalayan mountain range and the lush greenery of “God’s Own Country”, Kerala will leave you mesmerised. For those seeking pure unadulterated fun, the beaches of Goa is the place to party; while the palaces and forts of Rajasthan, the land of Kings, offer a truly regal experience.
India is a vast country – the seventh largest in terms of geographical area and the second largest in terms of population. It is a nation of variety, diversity and contrasts, all of which add to the uniqueness of the experience. It is a place where multiple cultures, languages, cuisines, customs and religions not only exist side by side but are inextricably held together, seemingly by some mystical force. India’s vastness also means that you cannot possibly cover all its destinations or even the most famous attractions in a few days. In order to really explore the country and discovers its many features, you will need to plan your trip for about two months. Touring India can be an intense and exciting experience, but does not need to be expensive. Travel, accommodation and food will all appear cheap for European and North American travellers and with a bit of planning you can get the maximum bang for your buck.
While planning your trip to India, do not forget to compare prices from different airlines and websites to get cheap air tickets to India. Most travel websites, including Airlines and Online Travel Agents offer discounted airfares on international and domestic flights. They provide you with a wide range of updated information not only on flight schedules and availability, but also destinations, cities, airports, the weather and many other things.
To make sure you get the best airfare deals, purchase your tickets well in advance, if you are sure of your travel dates. If possible, try and book your tickets 3-6 months in advance, to avail the most lucrative offers and discounts. The best deals are almost always available on the World Wide Web, so check the internet regularly and make sure your book online. Buying tickets on the internet is a completely hassle free experience which will save you a lot of money and time. With a bit of research you will also be able to find several attractive hotel deals that suit your budget and requirements.
Travel Tips for India Tours
Stick to these few basic tips and make your trip to India all the more enjoyable and hassle free.
Avoid travelling on weekends: Most Indian travellers choose to travel on a weekend, which makes it difficult to get tickets for those days.
Advance booking: If you can plan your trip to India three or more months in advance you will have a good chance of getting cheap tickets even during the peak months.
Weather in India: India is generally a hot tropical country but there are areas that get fairly cold during the winter. From March to August it is hot in most parts of the country and temperatures are known to exceed 40 degrees Celsius several places in Northern and Western India. A great way to beat the heat is to go to a hill station or resort in the Kashmir valley or Himachal Pradesh. September and November are ideal for trekking in the Himalayas. However, the best time to travel in India is between October and February, as the weather is cooler and much easier to bear. Visiting India at this time will be more comfortable and will probably allow you to cover more places. In general, the north of India is temperate, the centre is hot and dry, while the south has a sub-tropical climate.
Peak time in India: The most expensive air tickets to India are found during the peak holiday season in October as there are many Indian festivals that take place at this time. Ticket prices also rise in December and January on account of Christmas New Year.

A Winning Roll For Board Games

With so many physical games, sports activities, computer games and interactive toys, it might be considered something of a surprise that traditional board games have remained so popular, and yet there is a greater variety of board games available today than ever before, and these cater for a much wider age group as well.

The definition of board games is quite difficult, since there are the traditional examples that really are played upon a board, such as Ludo, Chess, Monopoly and Scrabble, and then there are games which build upon a board, such as Mouse Trap, and then have parts of the game built within the board, such as Operation. There are even examples of games where the board becomes so big that the people become the playing pieces, such as Twister.

There are even some traditional board games that have been expanded to become playground games, such as Chess or Draughts, and the board is painted on the ground, sometimes as much as ten feet square, with the laying pieces a foot high, and then players can walk around the board, and play with friends watching, almost in teams. This helps to bring a quiet solo activity out into the fresh air and involving more people.

Involving people as a group is really what board games are all about, and it is a very good thing that today there are many families that are happy to all gather around a board game and use it as a focal point for the family chat and gossip, rather than all facing away from each other and focussing on the television, or disappearing off to their own rooms and places. Board games bring people together, quite apart from any other benefits they may have.

There are certainly challenging board games that rely on brainpower, deduction and good thinking, such as Monopoly and the various detective games available, or those that require careful dexterity, calm nerves and patience. Some games of course rely purely on luck, but actually fairly few.

There are many board games available today which traditionally have been adult games, or at least suitable only for older children, yet have been redesigned and produced as scaled down, or otherwise adjusted in some way to suit younger children. One example is junior versions of scrabble, with a smaller board, more score squares, a better range of letters and the ability to score well using a vocabulary more suited to a child.

Some of the most successful games are those which allow children and adults to play together, and that look colourful and interesting, with simple rules, and a combination of both luck and skill. The adults might be more skilful and play tactically, but are subject to bad luck in just the same way as children are able to benefit from good luck. This kind of game can develop with the child as they grow older, and give them worthwhile opportunities to be with adults in a relaxed but competitive environment. It is often over a board games that incidental chat can take place which reveals more about members of the family than would otherwise be revealed, and encourages easier communication. It also, to some extent, helps to teach the child about tactics, logic, planning and teamwork – all very worthwhile skills in themselves.